9 months ago I wrote a poem. And for 9 months it stayed unread. Today I found it and read it like it was the work of a stranger. I am strange even to myself.
There weren’t countless of opportunities
but there were many
glittery, sparkly choices that tempt me
mine eyes may have looked
but the heart remained steady.
But I made a choice
which meant commitment to me
One which I cannot imagine my Life without
without constant epiphanies, meaningful study
-what a waste of Breaths that would be!
So I chose, and was told to go back.
I turned to another and again, was turned away
until rejection became familiar;
I knew how it looks when it wakes up,
when it is angry and when it is happy.
I know the scent and form it takes
what accent it makes
its footsteps when it’s near
leaves me worried that I might
begin to admire it’s demeanour.
Cruelty at its finest and hateful by nature,
Rejection maintains an attractive creature
This is what it feels like to knock every Semester
It’s my face again, spent and tired, but
might I see you in the next Trimester?
It is as if I was made to drive towards roadblocks,
build houses of Hope on unstable docks,
run towards dead-ends and the Start line
Pray tell me again where Dreams and Hope align!
..because it seems that I set out to lose out
or to be freed only to find myself running out
I still wake up for Sun after which changes the mood
and enjoy even more, the company of the Moon.
This is a story
of the unique relationship of Hardwork
of Ongoing Prayers
and of Beautiful Patience.
It is the story of lovers
who thank each other’s presence
and each other’s effort and resilience
under abstract covers
known as Silence.
Even when the Day forces I to the wall
and tells me I am no good;
It is still a blessing to me, (Oh what a bargain!)
I still breathe, therefore there’s time to knock again.
Unbeknownst to you and me,
Hurt, but I still wake up everyday
and that is a Sign don’t you see?
that He has not given up on me yet,
so why should I?
Waiting to be(come),
I have taught myself to go out
and taste the heat and humidity
to learn some Humility.
And that it is okay to be the lesser known Fulān
And to never doubt as the Master’s plans
For there may be less painful roads
that I have yet to discover
still yet to uncover themselves
before my unprepared, virgin eyes.
But for now,
This hasn’t been about cashing in
bad luck, or facing bad omens!
Rather, it’s been a test for the strong-willed
and a gift for the persistent woman.
It is still untold.
It may still be unclear to me
but it’s been a unique journey
being a Thankful Servant is a tough job
but trials make it bearable, full stop.