Physical and emotional presence.

There are very few people in my life who make me feel calm and completely at ease with their presence, even when they’re always in silence. They allow me to actively put all my God-given senses to full use. I can feel my senses come alive beneath my sweating palms, and my pulses pulsating lightly against my wrists and temples, even my breathing- settling to a rather soothing pattern. I reduce all my worries to the creases on a crumpled shirt, vanishing away as the steam from the hot iron presses over them, I imagine a cube in which my soul is entrapped, expanding- giving me space to feel like the living, I picture the fog in my head clearing up as the sun-shower comes, I feel safe with them around. And when they leave, the serenity in the air that I was taking full-advantage of leaves with them. Such short-lived peaceful moments, those are. I’m thankful for these people.

And there are a large number of people who, unfortunately, bring with them such energy that makes the hairs on my arm stand. They make me feel small, vulnerable, easy. Sometimes I feel under attack; unsafe, pressured. Fear gushes through my veins, warning me to freeze and hold my breath when they’re near. These are people who carry with them anger, grief, anxiety and distress. Noises will come and threaten me, push me to my limits, test my patience, force me to the wall, put doubt in my thoughts. I’m not pleased with this bunch. They make my stomach squirm and make funny noises.

I absorb so much emotion from the people around me that today I came to the realisation that although I may be known to be oblivious to people in terms of the physical aspect, i.e. I don’t remember faces that are not important or significant to me at that one moment, but I do recognise emotions; I feel more. I may not know your name even if we’ve met and spoken more than ten times before, but I know the effect I’ve had on you; how I’ve made you feel and vice versa. Or if you carry with you strong emotions- that I can recognise them almost straight away.

What I’m trying to say is that if you’re having a bad day, you don’t need to drag the whole world down with you. And if you’re having an extremely good day, don’t go rubbing it in the faces of those who don’t seem to even want to talk.

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