What Inspires Me

On the other end of the spectrum when we’re talking about what and who inspire me, aside from all the good and cute motivational things and people, there exists this group of individuals who have hurt me greatly; directly or indirectly that inspire me too. They inspire me NOT to be like them. And they inspire me to write.

Little did I know, that my love for my mother can be litmus-tested by this simple act of seeing her get hurt. Hurt her and I’m on you. A 100% no doubt, no questions. Little did I know about that until today.

My mom rarely expresses her feelings to me. But as I grew wiser, older, I’ve noticed that she’s started to let her walls come down little by little. She did just that today when we were out together. The last time I saw her in such pain was when she broke down in the lift after visiting her dying friend. (that post is in this blog somewhere, go find it if you want to). Let me tell you something about my mom. She’s very honest. And trust me, she is incapable of exaggerating. She says things from the bottom of her heart, and if her heart bleeds, her voice comes out pained. You can practically hear it. The truth, raw and hard- rolling out from her innocent tongue.

After listening to her, I must say that it was a painful session. I could barely stay in my seat. And she never calls anyone an ill name, but then she did, and a lump instantly grew in my throat. “I’ve never met anyone so… arrogant.” Those were her words. And it was like a fusebox just caught on fire in me. If this person was here, I would have so much to say to them. So much.

This is one thing that can break my bond with you. Whether it is a blood bond, or a BFF bond- whatever, really. It’s the only thing I cannot tolerate and compromise on. My close friends and family know very well that I’m quite the one to compromise, alhamdulillah. But what they don’t know, and me included, is that I cannot be tested with anyone even so much as laying a finger on my mother..until just now.

I pray to Allah to give me patience and lots of it. I’m not usually quick-tempered, but my blood boils when it comes to this, and only this I promise.

Many might think that this person is not worth the mention in my salaah, but I think it’s worth it to wake up for tahajjud just to ask Allah for justice. May Allah soften and heal our broken hearts and make us among the strong and humble. Aameen.

I may need an ocean for wudhu’ just to cool down! :'(


Ramadhan Lesson 2 – Ramadhan Without Mom: An Ode to a Friend

This is dedicated to my childhood friend who lost her mother not too long ago. If you go back to my earlier blog entries, her death had affected me so much that I wrote an account when she fell seriously ill and another when she passed away.

Please remember her in your prayers. May Allah grant her Jannatul Firdous, and reward the family for their strength and patience. Ameen.