A bullet too close to the heart.

I tried seeking help for him because I feel the pain of the people he’s hurt. Now he’s on the brink of renouncing his Faith and no one cares. I am halfway across the world, how do I help you? How do I help you, my brother? Funny how I see Faith and I see your name! Tonight I cry not only for him, but for the fact that the person I ran to for help turned me away.

Yes he turned me away.

Though much later I would realise that my Creator would never leave me without Light, not even for a split second.. While some of His creations would abandon me just like that.

One of the worst things a respected person can say or do when he is sought for, for advice is to turn السائل (the person who asks) away and say; “It’s too late to do anything. The solution is too far to reach. You’ll never make it.”

It is worse when these words come from a person whose mind and intellect you so deeply admired once upon a time. And for you to see those words in the form of writing, it not only hits the heart, but it stays permanent because you have the option of not deleting it. This threw me back to the wall and I am left feeling utterly dejected and deeply disappointed.

What is the word that I’m looking for…?

There is no word in the English language that can perfectly describe how I’m feeling right now.

I’m just going to say it in plain, internet slang then.

“Wow. I’M SO DONE.”


One thought on “A bullet too close to the heart.

  1. I guess you put too much hope in the wrong “respected” person or you had wrong intentions in the first place. I always wonder why, sometime, we tend to seek others’ opinion when the answer is so crystal clear. Maybe it’s the way we seek approval and support when we feel insecure and have some doubt to clear.
    But you know what, have some faith, things will always be super fine. Didn’t you say “the Creator would never leave me without Light”, He (swt) says “I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am”..

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