Mine own Flesh and Blood, Thee.

You know that feeling when someone whom you look up to the most disappoints you? And then you forgive them because you feel that their greatness is bigger than their faults? But just as things begin to get better.. then they disappoint you again? Well. It made me realise that this is the nature of human beings. Even those who you’re ‘compelled’ or ‘obliged’ to be ‘loyal’ to can break you into a million pieces and you see the monster in them. They abuse their God-given (literally) throne and you wonder if there will be sin upon you to be NOT loyal to them. To disobey them. Will God let you do that in this kind of situation?-you ask yourself. Humans disappoint. God doesn’t. God created them and send them your way so He may test you. This is the biggest test He’s sent me so far. Should I disobey a person whom God Himself assigned ME to be obedient to? Do you really think that this affects God’s judgement? Do you think He, the All-Knowing was wrong to have bestowed you power? You want me to think this way, don’t you? But I won’t. So what exactly does one do in this situation? I am at a loss. Torn. Beyond what you can imagine. One minute you’re doing them a favour and they return it. But the next, you see with your own eyes them breaking your trust. Using you. Ya Allah, guide me. I am about to do something so cruel; do I do it for myself or do I leave them to YOU?

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